Unsettled
by Get It Right
Summary: They say death gives you some sort of peace. [ Post X3 spoilers! JS]
1. Home

**_Author's Note_**:_This fanfic is based solely on the characters we see inthe X Men movies._ _I have never been a follower of the comics, so I don't know what events take place, and I am not basing any of my story on them. I get what I know from the movies, which is a bit difficult because there is so little focus on just one character, so I fill in for the rest. I'm not sure where I am heading with this or if I will continue it much farther, but it's giving me a little relief right now with the pain I am feeling towards these characters deaths(and I use the term lightly). We'll see how things go. __Also, this is the first chapter and I'm not sure if they'll get much longer, I'm not good with lengthy writing._

_Critisizism shows you're interest._

_If there are any grammer or historical errors let me know._

_**Disclaimer:** I am in no way, shape, or form associate with X Men the movie(s), comic(s), or it's affiliates, I'm just a fan, and this is just for entertainment._

* * *

They say death gives you some sort of peace. It could've been hard to believe, no one really knew, but it makes things easier. There's less fear on either side. 

He knew he wasn't dead.

Though he couldn't his body, his subconscious was working overtime, rushing through thoughts and memories too fast to comprehend in a normal state by an average being.

But he wasn't normal anymore. He never really was, but now more than ever he was different than most...and just because he was alive.

A cold breeze swept over his hand.

He snapped back into consciousness, and opened his eyes quickly. '_Damn_ _it_' he thought to himself and closed his eyes. But something was wrong. He slowly opened his eyes again. The bright light burned more than what was once a part of him.

He could see.

Not in shades of red, but every brilliant color. Green, blue, pink, orange. All there.

The shock distracted him from the simple concept of what was going on. Pain singed his body. Disorientation was the only thing he felt now.

What was going on?

The last thing he remembered was...

He heard a soft moan. Quickly getting up to greet what was there, he saw her. Her red hair was like a flame, just as he had remembered. All he could do was stare. She slowly got up to meet him, and gave the same misplaced stare.

None of this made sense, not one piece of it. From sight it might have, but he felt too different. He felt older...and weaker...and off balance. The puzzled look on her face told him the same thing.

Then he noticed something else. Her clothing, it was a bright and shiny red _not_ as he had remembered.

She keeps staring in pure shock.

Gently moving towards her, he grabs her hand.

"_Scott..._" she mutters.

They move from the sandy beach of Alkali Lake to the hard stone where his last memories lie.

Not much could be said right then that would give anyone any solace. Whatever memories he was reliving, hers were worse. They didn't know what was occurring. So they waited; waited for the impact to not seem so upsetting.

This was no peace.

The wind picked up and the cold told them they couldn't stay much longer.

They got up and began to walk back to the place that was home, the only place that made any sense.


	2. Buried Sins

**_Authors Note:_** _So I tried finding Alkali Lake in Canada on Mapquest and I got a city not an actually lake (I thought it was a lake in the movie..maybe it is it just didn't show up on mapquest). Anyway, the city is all the way on the other side of the nation, in British Columbia. In X3 it's unclear how long it took Cyclops to get there but I always figured it was near New York. But then again that would explain why Wolverine seemed to be gone so long from the first to the second. Whatever, I'm working with it, but that is the reason why I'm trying not to go into too much detail with the trip back to New York. I hadn't originally planned on writing about it, so that's kinda why it's completely horrible. And I didn't remember where there graves were but it seemed like the garden...right?_

_If there are any grammer or historical errors let me know._

_**P.S.-** I know I'm really bad at paragraphing._

_**Disclaimer:** I am in no way, shape, or form associate with X Men the movie(s), comic(s), or it's affiliates, I'm just a fan, and this is just for entertainment._

* * *

The journey back to New York from Alkali Lake was a long one on foot. Plenty of cars passed by them on the road they followed, but what would they say? They had barely uttered two words to each other, and trying to explain the situation to a stranger seemed like an impossible task. 

It would be easy enough for Jean to contact someone at the school and get them some help, but they felt just as uncomfortable about the X Men as they did about complete strangers at this point.

So they walked.

Northern North America this time of year wasn't cold, and it wasn't very warm either. Mid forties and sunny isn't the worst weather to be traveling in, but nights are cold. They huddled together at night and moved forward by day trying not to become distracted by all that has happened.

By the fourth night it seemed they had barely gotten anywhere, and Scott decided walking was no longer an option.

In an almost empty town they found an empty car at a seemingly empty bar, and drove away in it.

Scott was a fast and safe driver. Three days after they took the car they were almost back at school, home. They were on a quick turn when his head began to pound; it was a sharp pain, like a knife, stabbing him. He immediately slammed on the breaks and closed his eyes. Years later and he still remembered what it felt like.

"My powers are coming back," he said with no reason to. She knew what was happening.

Jean got out of the car in the middle of the road and helped Scott move over to the passenger's side. Then she took over. His eyes began to burn and he knew they had fully returned.

Driving through the town, Jean began to recognize more and more places, and features, and she knew they were close. She instinctively took a right and drove another half mile.

The car slowed, Scott knew they were there.

By then his senses had adjusted and he could now move efficiently on his own. They both got out of the car and moved up the driveway. It must have been at least midnight and the sky was the darkest shade of black.

Walking towards the main entrance, Jean stopped in her tracks. Cyclops stopped noticing her lack of movement. In the corner of Jean's eye she sees that near the garden lied three large stones. A gasp escaped her mouth.

She knew what they were.

"What's wrong?" Cyclops asked in a worried tone.

Instead of answering she took his arm and they walked towards the headstones. He could feel the squishing ground as they walked from the path onto the grass.

Jean stopped again.

He could sense what they were looking at. Their graves. Scott kneeled down to the ground. He lifted his arm and places his fingers on the cold, glossy stone. Brushing his fingertips lightly across, he read 'Scott Summers.' He didn't know what to think. He knew he had died, but it didn't seem real until now. His knees buckled and he was sitting completely on the ground hand still on his stone. Next to him, still standing, Jean was standing erect and entirely still.

"What have I done?" Her voice was in a whisper.

Still staring at the sights before her she held in her shallow breath. A single tear ran down her face. The memories of the last days of her "life" were more vivid than the dull images she had when first awoken again.

"I killed him too." Jean said to Scott, breathless.

"I know."

"I'm so sorry."

Those three words were all she could think of...and they seemed insufficient for the all deceit she had committed.

Scott used the stone for balance and stood back up next to Jean, turning to face her.

"I don't regret what you did, Jean," he spoke in a steady, strong voice, "I...I got to see you through in real colors, not shades. I got to see your hair and eyes and lips...and they weren't red."

"And I got to see you're eyes. You're blue eyes." Jean spoke to him, still not moving her line of vision from the tombs.

"I'd...die all over again just to see you like that, and kiss you one last time...For me it was a second chance...a chance to say good-bye."

"I kissed Logan." Jean was almost interrupting his words

"Not just after I...turned, but before the first incident at Alkali Lake...I kissed him."

Cyclops' first reaction was _'do you love him?_' but he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Why are you telling me this now?" is what he asked instead.

Jean had been reading his thoughts and emotions, not on purpose, but they were had to control at a time like this. She could feel a deep pit of sorrow and anger inside of him, but the feeling was faded by the fact that at that moment, he just didn't want to deal with it.

"Do _I_ love him? I don't know who _I_ am anymore" Her voice was in a flat, empty tone. It was the truth. What felt like minutes passed and she responded again.

"I loved you." Jean knew neither of her retorts were exactly answering his question.

Silence.

Before now it was about the destination, but now, they've reached it. Millions of thoughts were rushing through their minds. About what was just said and the situation in general.

The most prominent of which was _'Where do we go from here?_'

How would anyone accept Jean after what she had done? How would they ever return to a normal life? Everything was just so wrong. But they had to fix it.

The sky was slowly becoming lighter and lighter.

Scott took her hand, and they began walking towards the entrance of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.


End file.
